Child, You Will Get Over It

I have these emotions deep down in me that make me want to cry. When I close my eyes and try to squeeze all these tears out, they just don’t. Its like milking a cow that hasn’t given birth yet. No milk comes out.

When I shut my eyes real tight in attempt to let these tears out nothing comes out. And it’s sad because the sadness does not go away. 

It stays deep down there, chewing me up, feeding on me and leaving me weak when I ty to get over it. It sucks.

I need to talk about it. But no one seems to be there. The person I have found has exactly the same problem as I. 

She is as well drained in the same, darker emotions as I. We have found each other but surely can’t help each other. Because our problems are more or less the same and trying to help each other would be no different from the blind leading another blind. See how it sucks!? 

One thing I really hate is that it goes away like it was never here and while you’re enjoying your peaceful, joyful life, it makes a grand entrance and sucks out the last life in you. 

Yes, we laugh, we smile, just so we can hide all these emotions. Because we do not want to be labelled as the grumpy ones. But one thing I can tell you, it’s not cool. 

We do not want to be all emotional and what not, we just need help. At least an assuring piece of word that says ‘it will be alright’. And we are not alone in this. 

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Sometimes I Break

I have written quite a number of inspiring and motivating articles, which most have really motivated people. 

Despite all the good words I have put together to make up wonderful articles, often times I fail to make the comfort I need in them.

I once asked a friend for a few words that might mend my broken heart but she turned me down. Really down. She said ‘you can write something for yourself and read it out loud to yourself. I mean, you understand life more than I do.’ She walked away taking along the last life I had left in me. She left me more broken. 

Yes, I motivate and what-not, but really, sometimes I break down too. Some days I break and all I may need is an assuring hug that says ‘it will be well with you’. A pat on my back to soothe my pain and a few words to mend my heart into one piece again.

Most of the times I need to talk to the top dogs that have been in this industry for comfort, but when they are not there, don’t hesitate to lend me your shoulder to lean on. 

Just because you are not a motivational speaker does not mean you cannot add life to someone’s life. Let that mouth talk some sense into someone. I n

This Boy

This not-so-tall-caramel-skinned boy is in one of my classes. Just in one class which we have four times a week. Basically that is just 4 hours a week under the same roof. Four hours of melting. Four hours of running my fingers through my hair. Four hours of dreaming. Or maybe just two or three hours a week because he does not attend every class. I don’t like when he does that. The other times i get to see him is around the campus, and I make sure I look, really look at him until he disappears with the crowd.

 I don’t know his name and it is sad.

He does not know my name, very sad.

I don’t know what he likes.

He doesn’t know what I like, but I’ll tell him very soon, if I take a sip of courage. Because I really like him. 

I love you

These words meant the entire world to me in my early teens. There were the words I was shy to say. The words the other boy was shy to tell me. Because the were meaningful.

But now, they are meaningless.

I love you these days sounds more like I need you. Like, really need you and more.

I love you these days have become a phrase used by people to get what they want. I love you is a lie this boy is telling me now, just to get to my heart and smash it.

I just know. Because the way he smiles when he says them, his eyes do not glow in correspondence with  what is coming out of his mouth.

All I see is that dirty smirk form on his lips. He wants me to tell him the same so he can have an official permission to own my heart and hurt me.

I am gonna be the first one to hurt him by refusing to tell him I love him even though I really feel something for him.

Mistakes

I have made mistakes.

You have made them too. We all have.

We have corrected a few of them, mostly with apologies. But there are those which we cannot just erase or forget about.

These are the ones that help us become better people. As we grow, we look up to them and they remind us of what and what not to do.

But there are still people who keep repeating the same mistake over and over. They are not yet ready to become better people, I believe.