Love {By Guest Writer, Baby Sister, Halolye}

Love is covered with thorns

If you don’t handle it with care

It will fall on you

Then it will stick you.

Love can make you crazy

Love can make you happy

Love can make you anything

That is more than everything.

Love does not cheat

Love has no heat

Unless you make it warm

Then it will turn you into a worm.

Love has no brain

Love does not stress

But if you make it stress

Then it will put you in chess.

❤❤❤❤❤

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Past

If you don’t like him/her then why still be glued on the things s/he has done to you?

Simply because the things that we’ve been put through by this one individual being are so deep and cannot easily be erased.

We don’t talk or think about them because we miss them. We think of how someone could have done something that hurt us so bad and they get away with it like nothing has happened. And above all pains, that tops the list.

And we are left to regret. And someone said that regret is a useless feeling to feel. So in simple terms they leave us with the most useless feeling ever.

Why am I so bitter if they meant something to me?

Key word: meant. They don’t anymore, so I’ll drink up and keep it moving.

Questioning!

As much as I didn’t want to talk about this, I’ve been triggered to say a thing or two about this.

It’s This Love Thing, Man. 😉

Some while back I was deep in love. Or at least that’s what I thought about it. Everything that’s been happening around me has been going smooth. Or it’s what I thought. Everything was just so perfect, he was perfect for me, I was perfect for him and we were perfect for each other. Or maybe not. But that’s what I saw.

I’m questioning Everything, because that love I thought existed didn’t even exist at all. If it did, where is it now? Things changed and Shakespeare said that “love is not love that alters when it alteration finds…it is an ever fixed mark” so I bet you understand where I’m coming from when I say that what I felt as love wasn’t even love.

What was it then??

I don’t know. But I know what it wasn’t. It wasn’t love.

What triggered me is how I’ve been looking at things lately. The things I thought were the “it” things aren’t even it. How I use to see the world has completely changed. I admit I was blind in whatever it was that we had.

I was on the phone with my friend who wants to achieve her crush so bad because in her world “he is perfect”. I’m happy for her because I know the feeling. I’ve been there.

But I can’t tell her that because deep down I know niqqa ain’t shxt. He ain’t perfect. Before you label me as the “what what bitter fake” friend, let me tell you that I don’t even know her crush niqqa. I just know that nobody is perfect she knows that too but you know what crushes do upon us. And for her to think that he is, it could only be because she’s mad over him.

So, that’s about that. ❤

Just Write It

Is this too much detail? Did I go over board? Am I sharing too much? Often times I ask myself these questions.

Sometimes I want to express myself in a certain way but I feel like I might have expressed myself too much than necessary. Most times I write about my emotions which may be too personal and I then wonder if what I’m writing about is even worth writing about.

But even though I may have such questions, I still write them down anyway because I don’t like confining in other people because to me that’s just so draining. 😭 (A person listening to me whine about what I’m going through just seem to be too much work 💔) So I write and cry on my own.

And hey, that’s what it is.

Sharing too much on here or not, I still do it. Because I also don’t like keeping stuff inside. 😣 I’ll Just Write It.

Better Not Titled

“You don’t know what I’m capable of doing, do you? I can come over and smash all your house window glasses and you’ll regret ever meeting me.”

As he grab my house keys from me. “I’m gonna burn everything that belongs to you. And if you dare take these keys from me I’ll cut everything on you right now and see what and how you are going to walk with at home.”

And he went on talking about all the scary stuff which I cannot fathom and those things I want to take to my grave with.

But you know what? Fuck it, really! I ain’t taking shxt to my grave. Im going to speak (write) it down cause I don’t want to be silenced by anybody. Especially not by any low life matha-ha-ha.

Once he had said to me “I swear if you dare walk out of this relationship, one person in going to end up dead.” And to think of it, it can’t be him of course. Not sick, DEAD. Then he went on, “if you also dare call the police on me I promise you that I might just stay there one night. You don’t know the people I know and you don’t know what I’m capable of.”

So me, scaredy me, just sat there, nursing my hurt cheek and pampering my cheek-bone as i silently thank God for not one tooth lost. I continue to cry, asking myself what I should do about what just happened. Crying at the thought that i have just become a statistic of the abusive incidents that were never recorded because of “fear.” Regretting why I didn’t just live all of this at “halo”.

Should I give this bloody neggro a chance? Should I give him my word that I am willing to try again? Should walk away FOREVER this time? But I couldn’t do that. Why? Because “I loved him.”

Love? I re-called. But what about me? Don’t I deserve the same kind of love? I do, he just finished telling me about how much he loves me, in the same minute he high fived my face and pushing me around.💔

Yet again I said fuck it. Because his actions do not correspond with his words. So fuck love. For the first time since the release of the song “Men Are Trash” I finally listened to the lyrics than just enjoying the beat then I started singing along. Because yoh, they really are rubbish.

Call me the bitter ex but whatever, there’s nothing good I can say about what was.

He is the reason I started to think of men as the same people. The same bad creatures turning us into damaged women. That’s what they say right!? “I love you. I’ll never hurt You. I promise You it won’t ever happen” while in the same breath throwing threats around about what will happen if we ever get tired of their trashiness and decide to leave.

Then dumb me would have said, “I believe you.” But Im not dumb after all. Yep, he’s called me a dumb bitch before, on some occasions. See! Trashiness.

I’ve walked away. Im never looking back. I’m glad that I’ll never cry over some crazy shxt that he’s done. Over it.

Once I’ve cried over the fact that I do not want to see him shower another girl with his love. But jokes on me hey, I should have saved the tears for something better.

How I use to beat myself up about how I don’t want to lose the love of my life. So silly and so dumb and so blind in love.

Now all I’m left with is this void and regret in my life of being disrespected by a man who at the same time claimed to have loved me.

What’s left in my heart is hatred, disappointment, anger and fear of ever loving.

Been holding this in for a long time. I just had to.

This isn’t some “poetic” piece. Reality!