Let’s name this guy, Tony.
For those that know me, you’d know who I’m talking about by the end of the post. But please let’s pretend you don’t. 🙄
Tony and I went out (dated, whatever) for like a year. Coming to the end of our bitter-sweet year, things started to fall apart. Both of us were sort of tired of keeping it up so we somehow just let it collapse. I didn’t care, and neither did he, I guess, idk.
I wanted out, but even with the crumble of the palace, Tony still didn’t want me to go. Reasons to keep me weren’t even so valid. Tony was going on about “trying again” “Let’s rebuild” “Let’s love each other right” “blah blah blah and blah”. A lot has already happened and I wasn’t just gonna forgive, forget and “rebuild” like I didn’t know what caused the whole thing to fall.
I was tired, I was drained, I was unhappy and I was everything else bad. I just wanted out. It was not the kind of place I wanted to be in. If he was feeling the same then I didn’t understand why he would even ask me to “try again”.
So I told Tony about how I’ve been feeling and he sort of lost it. Hitting me with, “I fucken love you. How do you just decide to let me go? How will I survive?” No, I’m not heartless, but I sort of laughed. Because in the real world, you can’t say you can’t live without someone. I’m not Jesus. So that was pretty much nonsense to me.
The reasons kept coming in, sometimes sounding even harsher. Some accompanied with threats, both verbal and physical abuse and clear mere promises. Tell you what, I knew why Tony wanted me to stay, although he knew that love wasn’t even there. But I wasn’t gonna allow myself to be made a continuous punching bag and an emotional… (what’s the word!?) of some grown ass baby. It was just too much to deal with.
During the period of letting go, terrible things have been said to me. Obviously I’ve said some back, cause I won’t just let myself be disrespected without retaliating. But this ain’t about the things I have said or have done. 🙁
Fast forward, the day everything finally falls apart came and it was the worst day of my entire existence. You’d think we never even loved each other, you’d think we never even promised each other to be together forever. 😂 I’m laughing but deep down shxt is hurting so bad. 💔
No I don’t miss Tony, I won’t wish him whatever (good/bad) luck either. Cause idk what he truly deserves.
Till next time. 👋🏾