But..?

Mental breakdowns are the craziest bitches to ever exist. I’m NOT sorry for the language, please.

Most people have noticed that. The song, Check Up On Your Friends has been released and sang over and over. People love that song, actually.

But do these people ever check up on their friends? Did YOU ever check up on one or two of your friends before?

Speaking out has become so hard that people have chosen to write their emotions down, hoping that someone will notice their pain and initiate into talking to them. I’ve done that before. Sometimes I just put my emotions out there, hoping someone would understand.

The Check Up On Your Friends clique doesn’t even come through. πŸ’”πŸ˜­

Oh, or maybe we AIN’T even friends. My bad. 😭😭😭

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πŸ•Š

Sometimes you don’t get to say goodbye.

Although you may believe that they are in a better place, it still hurts to know that they are no more.

Heaven keeps gaining more Angels from time to time. πŸ•Š

Awkwardness.

We stare in our phones, some blankly, doing random things just so we don’t give each other blank and awkward stares.

The only sound being the humming sound of the fan, the ticking of the clock’s hands, the beep on our phones, some “tiii” which marks the end of whatever game the other person is playing on their phones.

We are not strangers, we are family. By blood that is. So close when we were so little and now… well, we aren’t very close. Not hate. We just grew into different things that making a convo is pretty hard.

The Desire

For the women who would have loved to be mothers but have been denied by nature. Smile a little as it does not mark the end of your world.
For the men who aspire to be fathers, may you be the greatest dads ever.
Suckers of love πŸ˜‰ may we find love as we read through this novel.

Contact me for a copy.

+264814384483 😊

Available in Windhoek.

Dark

Turn to the left.

Turn to the right.

Lay on my tummy.

Lay on my back.

Looking up the ceilings hoping to get bored and sleep it off.

Not working.

Repeat.

Not working.

Search for my phone under the pillow for the hundredth time hoping to find something interesting to at least keep me up if I’m sleep deprived.

Not working.

Just so many thoughts running through my head all at once. 😭😭😭

So many unsent messages in my head but not one courage to write them down and send them.

So many words of encouragement to my fellows but what will it make of me to encourage or inspire someone when I myself need that!?

Of course, this very night I’ve cried. Over the same pain that has been haunting me for days. Crying like a child that has lost hope in ever being happy.

But I am happy, at least I feel that during the day. Problem comes on nights like these.

Dark. Empty. Numb. Guilt. Such useless feelings.

Even with these going on, “I know the night will end, the day will come and we’ll blossom again.” 🌻

Practise

It really does make perfect.

When you set your mind onto something and tell your-self that you will really excel at it, trust me you’ll excel. Saying it isn’t good enough. You need to practise, practise and practise more.

I knew this to be true, but I never really put much thought on it. It’s day 4/365 and I’m on my fitness and flexibility routine. Trust me when I say I couldn’t get my head to my knees on 31-Dec-2018. Four days in, I’m getting it there, with a little pain. As days go on and I practise more, I’ll get them there with no pain at all.

I’m excited for what’s ahead of me. I repeat, practise does make perfect.

Fitness 2019

Besides aiming true happiness in this year, I want to be physically fit. I’ve been eating whatever I set my eyes on without worrying much about what it does to my body. Tell you what? I’ve loaded some load of weight on me and I’m not loving any tiny bit of it.

I’ve set up a 30 day fitness challenge and I’m strictly following it. I’m watching what I’m putting in my body (it’s really hardπŸ˜‚) but I’m determined to get used to it.

I devote my few morning minutes to sit ups, push ups, squats and exercises of some sort. In the evening I do yoga. And tell you what? Yoga stretches are an extreme sport. I love the pain though.

This is also making me happy. Genuine happiness for real. I love it. πŸ’ƒπŸ½β€

2019

Happy New Year readers and fellow bloggers. May you achieve whatever it is that you desire.

Forget about yesterday’s pain, forget yesterday’s enemies and yesterday’s drama. Start your year as a fresh person. Do not give in to anything that takes away your happiness. Focus on your self. Love everyone around you so much, without loving yourself any less.

Filter what you let in your life. If you are the bad friend, re-evaluate your self because you do not want to be the person everyone is avoiding and or cutting off. If you are the good friend, keep doing what you are doing because your kindness is what we need in this world.

My 2019 goal is to really be happy at whatever I do. Be happy. Be happy. And be happy. 😁😁